Anyhow as you can see from the title it has only taken me three whole years well really 29 years to realise that it is not a good idea to yell back at your child for yelling.
You know what I am talking about, sadly I guess I have been one of those mums you see in the shopping centres that have the child running around being generally noisy, Princess doesn't screaming horribly (unless its a meltdown) but she does sing at the top of her voice but rather than quietly telling her to quieten down I am the mum who will say in a rather LOUD voice "YoU nEeD tO bE qUiEt". But you know what it is even worse at home. I will hear my Princess yelling at her Sweet sister or squealing in a pitch almost only heard by dogs, and what I should do is get up and move in a close proximity to her and tell her in a gentle voice that she should speak in hushed tones. But, you know what's coming, from the other side of the house I will yell out "QUIT THAT SCREAMING..."
Very effective parenting, what is sad is that I have always known this to be a bad idea, I even understand that Princess has learnt this darling trait through her banshee like mother but it some how didn't go in.
What really is funny is that I was listening to a children's cd just this morning and it is talking about all of 'mum's' lovely characteristics and one of them was "She only whispers and never yells" and I thought that's not my girls' mum.
And so ladies and gentlemen I have decided that this
is something that must change, unless I want Sweetness to also learn this delightful trait, and that I need to re-calibrate my way of responding- wish me luck.
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1 comment:
One thing that our daughter, Jennifer, does with her boys is to have "indoor" and "outdoor" voices. When Ben gets loud, she tells him calmly, "Ben, use your indoor voice" and he switches. I'm amazed! I too was a "bellower" at my kids and wish I'd thought to do this. Preserves dignity all the way around. And if Ben does NOT use his indoor voice, she takes him by the arm and puts him in a timeout - two minutes (more as he's gotten older) where he sits on the same chair in the same place and can't talk, be spoken to, until the time is up. If he persists, more time is added. Soon he is tired of not having his freedom.
Now I'm not saying the woman is a saint. She's had her fair share of parental melt-downs but I have witnessed this indoor/outdoor voice thing and still am amazed.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath". Hmm, the Bible is pretty smart, no? :)
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