New eyes

It's actually quite different to how I expected third time around.

I remember thinking while pregnant with number two that I don't know how I could love another child as much as I love my first born. Of course as soon as I had Sweetness she won me over without a fight. It was actually quite hard to figure out where Princess fit. Suddenly she seemed so big to me and this new baby was such an easy baby which made it exceptionally easy to delight in her. To be truthful it took awhile to figure out how my new relationship worked with Princess.

Being pregnant with number three I didn't think about my ability to share my love with all three but I did wonder how this would change my relationship with my older two girls again. I wondered if I would ignore them, after all a newborn does need so much more attention and people love to just look lovingly at a newborn sleeping so even more attention is given to them.

Well actually in many ways the opposite has happened. While I enjoy my newborn, it has given me a new delight in watching my older girls grow. Princess shows such maturity and Sweetness is so independent its so fun to watch them play and to play with them.

It is certainly not easy to fit a newborn into your life after you start to discover the new joy of having older children, not that four and two is old but there really is such a difference, I know this is a very obvious statement to make but watching it close up is just, as Princess would say, a curious thing.

I can't help but think about what it was like for God to bring Jesus into this earthly life and to watch him grow. I get more and more joy from my children and I have no doubt that God would have felt greater and greater pleasure in watching Jesus grow from that babe born amongst the animals to the toddler and boy that revealed great wisdom and distinction from other boys. I hate to use the word 'proud' because it can carry many bad connotations but I can imagine that feeling in your chest when your heart just swells with pride when you look at your child who has just displayed generosity or just showed someone great love or sacrifice.

This spurs me on. This gives me a desire to live my life in such a way that I give God reasons to feel that way about me. I know so many times I disappoint and cause such sorrow but I want to grow and mature and produce works in my life that brings that same joy that I feel for my big girls.

I enjoy my children, especially because I have so much to learn from them.